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Posts Tagged ‘Twitter’

Send her your fan mail! She likes it!

Part of the reason for our blog silence lately has been due to a few intrusive emails that we have received. They are completely unrelated to our blog and us. These emails were sparse at first, but are picking up speed. And we decided that we may just end our blog altogether. These emails are strange and well, fan mail (not for us)…

So, as a former college instructor, I thought that instead of shutting down my blog and twitter account as I had first thought to do, I’d make a learning experience out of this…or what Patrick calls fanning the fire… So here we go!!

How To Write A Proper Fan Letter

1. This is pretty crucial so I want to open with this. Send fan mail to the person you are a fan of. Not us.

2. Writing “I’m not crazy” once makes the reader question the statement. Writing it more than 4 times makes you sound, well, crazy.

3. This is related to point number one. Don’t email random bloggers with your fan mail. It weirds them out! Nope. Exactly the same as point one.

4. Keep it short. Especially if you are writing to a non-famous person who doesn’t have an assistant to read mail. We normals only get through about three sentences of email not meant for us.

5. Send fan mail to people worthy of being a fan of: your favorite florist, the creator of bacon, celebs in sunnies, scientists working on a cure for cancer. This blog is not going to experience a sudden shift of content. It is about me, my husband, and our random thoughts that occur to us during our everyday average lives. That’s it. Nothing glitzy. Nothing fan-mail appropriate. We are not worthy.

That’s it for now. But if we shut this little bit of silly down that’s why…

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Many faithful readers have been asking, “Hey, what happened to Lulu? We thought she posted every Sunday.”

Lulu isn’t always the most reliable lamb, as we found out when she recently returned from a long, international, multi-week bender. But although she came home surly and hungover, she also came home with a brand new Twitter account so you can follow her adventures regularly. Follow her @lulupaloozu.

I see Spain, I see France, I see Lulu passed out on the table...

Warning: She may be a lamb, but direct contact with her via Twitter reveals she can bite back like a dog, the female kind…

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My Twitter Interview*

BabblePregnancy: How will you welcome your new baby into the world?

My best guess… Probably with screaming, tears, lots of swearing, and a hug, followed by more tears.


PregnancyWTE: Why do you love being pregnant?

Well, I’m not, actually. Why? Do I look  pregnant? I ate Wendy’s the other night after my workout… Really? You just ask people that?


Parenting: Like to travel on the road?

I do enjoy travel on the road. Flying is a pain in the arse and so “Big Brother” these days. I mean 1984 Big Brother, obviously. Not locked in a house, playing truth or dare, and reliving college on TV to win money Big Brother. Anyway, I avoid the skies unless a tropical destination is promised at the end of that pat down.


BabblePregnancy: White names and black names?

I’m sorry, what is the question exactly? I at least need a who, what, when, where or why…


BabesWithBabies: Ahem… could we have your attention please?

Excuse me, just got a funny tweet. Hehehe… Sorry. I’m here. I’ll put my phone away. OK. What’s the next question?

 

Parenting: Who said maternity wear has to be frumpy?

Um, lots of people have said that. I, for one, have mentioned that maternity clothes are pretty frumpty-dumpty. Let’s be honest, fashion is pretty much fighting an uphill battle with the globe-belly. But when done right–gorgeous! 

 

BabblePregnancy: If your OB/GYN was your friend instead of your doctor, what would she tell you?

She would probably tell me to close my legs, put my pants back on, and see a doctor. It would also be unlikely that she’d return my calls ever again.

Home Office

*All questions posed above are parts of real tweets compiled to create this simulated Q&A.

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I feel as though for nearly two months now our blog has sounded a lot like this:

Blah blah blah… When we get pregnant… Snarky snark snark… We won’t be doing this… Yadda yadda yadda… When we have a bun in the oven…

So I thought today I’d switch things up with 5 Reasons I’m Glad I’m Not Pregnant. I’m not really that glad, but I’m going to give “living in the moment” a brief try, just for fun:

Lulu looks like Frodo Baggins?

5. Still have time to order a Tom Collins.

4. I still fit into my skinny jeans, which look fab-tastic with my new Frye Engineers (pictured on Lulu).

3. Nobody tries to touch my belly.

2. When I run I still have that amazing bionic woman, totally-in-control-of-my-body feeling.

1. The truly hilarious, fun, and kindhearted TTC Twitter friends I’ve made! #teamcrabs #twitterfriendsarereal

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Lulu may or may not write this advice...

I made a Twitter account (@LulusCorner) specifically to engage in the world of wanna-be-moms and already-moms. I came to Twitter to get support, tips, guidance, and laughs. Turns out, bad tips and awful guidance are great for laughs! It’s a lose-win situation!

My favorite in the crap-advice category goes to an article I came across last week. How do you describe an article in 140 characters or less? These folks chose: What Are The Best Ways To Get Pregnant? I’ll give them credit, I clicked on the link. But here, my friends, the credit ends. The advice, and I’m highlighting their best, is as follows:

1. Going on a vacation from the stressful working life, and making out at an exotic locale is certainly one of the best ways to get pregnant. PSA: Apparently, you CAN get pregnant from making out IF you are in an exotic locale. You’ve been warned.

2. If you cannot afford the luxury of a holiday, don’t despair- yet. There are a number of best ways to get pregnant, right in your own bedroom. For one, try a change of décor and set up the room to have a more romantic feel. Redesign, a key to pregnancy! So many times, we’ve all heard the story of a couple who redecorated their bedroom and boom! A baby! Gives a whole new meaning to that old show Surprise By Design.

3. Buy some aromatic candles, and invest in a couple of silk cushions and bed sheets, if you would like that. Um, little known fact about aromatic candles, they are one of the “best ways to get pregnant.” So, you kids in those high-school movies, if you are planning on cashing in your V-card and setting the tone with candles, skip the scented ones unless you want to remember your first time for at least 18 years…

Let me try my hand at summarizing this how-to article in 140 characters: Travel and Redesign Tips to Get a Bun in That Oven #MakingOutMakesBabies #ASurpriseByRedesign #NotATTCExpert

And finally a little gem from a legitimate source, Pregnancy What to Expect, but maybe they should have thought twice about the wording. Again, 140 characters is limiting, but really? Unborn #babies are night owls: They’re sluggish in the morning and active as the day goes on. This can make it hard for you to rest. I’m guessing by “unborn babies” they mean “little ones in the womb,” but I’m not going there…

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Recently I have been feeling more kind, more open, more gracious, and more kid-friendly. I’ve been thinking: Maybe this is part of the miracle of birth, or in my case, the miracle of desired motherhood. This new place of love and kindness was most noted by me and my husband when I giggled, and quite frankly reveled, as a child seated nearby  in a movie theatre called out excitedly as we watched the new Harry Potter movie. Not too long ago, I would have thought: Those parents should control their kid! I was a hater. But now I smile at children and babies as I walk through Target. And when they smile back, I proudly think: This is what hopeful maternal bloom is all about!

Lulu Feels The Love!

Blogs are a common forum for  this kind of baby-adoring revelry. In the mom-blogger world, adorable pictures of sweet angelic children cover web pages. Which makes me wonder: Will our blog transform from skeptical/worried ramblings to baby photos filled with smiles and milestones? Perhaps, but yesterday I stumbled upon a different perspective…

… that of an (in)famous mom-blogger who is candid about her experiences of motherhood. Don’t go to her blog expecting pictures with cooing, cuddly captions. This mother’s posts are sardonic, sarcastic, raw, and according to her blog title, sometimes scary.

I happened upon her blog via a retweet that read:

Wrong in so many ways!!! <link to blog>”

So, of course, I had to take a look!! And I was not disappointed!

For those of you that don’t want to read the link above, I will summarize. This mom swears at her kids… in her mind. When her kids are throwing temper tantrums, refusing to eat, or running around during bedtime thoughts like F#&k you, sweetheart and Are you ever going to shut the f#&k up? pop up over her childrens’ heads in little disgruntled cartoon clouds. Cursing out her children in her mind eases her tension. The result: she ends up verbalizing with kind words, soothing words, stern words, whatever the situation demands, but not swear words.

So maybe this sweet, generous, and loving change I feel is not baby-related. Perhaps part of the “miracle of birth” is not a change that takes place in which I shed my cynical, dry, and cruel thoughts to emerge with loving, kind, G-rated ones. It is more likely that this new gracious mindset is a product of being happy with the possibilities I imagine when I think of a future with a little one.

While I’m digging this softer moment, I know I could never lose sight of my core self—the teasing, often judgmental, and sarcastic me, equipped with a sailor-mouth on good days and a pirate-tongue on my worst. I relish the idea that I don’t have to shed all of that to become a mom. But embracing this newly predominant love-and-light side isn’t so bad either!

Loving Pirate Lulu

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Learning The Lingo?

During my brief 5-day stint as a TTC tweeter, I learned that to the Twitter world, getting knocked up is not just about fun and games.

It wasn’t until I started tweeting and blogging that I realized just how many women out there are battling years of fertility problems. Understandably heartbroken, angry, and frustrated, women who share these hardships find a welcoming community on Twitter and various infertility blogs.

Within this community, a special language of abbreviations is rampant. Women trying for years, as well as those just starting, are tracking their DPO, TWW, and peak times to DTD with OPKs, in order to increase their chances. Um, huh?

At this stage, it is all a bit overwhelming and prematurely disheartening. In my humble opinion, there is such a thing as TMI and TMP (too much planning). I’m not knocking the system, but it just isn’t for me. For now, I’m taking a step back from Twitter and plan to take may chances the old fashioned way first — in the backseat of a Chevy at the Drive-In.

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