Posts Tagged ‘TTC’

I hadn’t even realized we’d reached the peeing on a stick phase of the month. As Gilly mentioned in her recent post, she just wanted to make sure it’d be safe to have mimosas on Christmas morning. Neither one of us really expected the test to come back positive. So imagine my surprise when Gilly suddenly announced, late in the evening as we were getting ready for bed, “I think we’re pregnant.”

Yup! I've contracted new dad face.

It took time to realize what I was feeling was sheer joy and excitement, because my initial reaction was one of pure shock. Could it be? How could it be? Could it really be? It couldn’t possibly be. But there it was. The little pink lines. They couldn’t lie. Could they lie? Well, actually, I guess they do lie. But then when Gilly took the test again…and again…and again, for four days in a row – well, the little pink lines don’t lie that much.

We were going to be parents. We couldn’t contain our joy. But while we didn’t have to contain our joy, we couldn’t yet share our joy. The urge to tell everyone the second you realize you’re pregnant – especially after months now of being, as Angie Z. so eloquently put it, “two endangered snow monkeys with a thousand buggy-eyed freaks awaiting the appearance of your first offspring born in captivity” – is hard to suppress. I mean, this is BIG news. Who can keep something like that a secret for a day, let alone for weeks?

And that, dear readers, is when the first trimester intervened and knocked us both senseless. I mean, we’ve read What to Expect When You’re Expecting but nothing – not a midnight screening of The Exorcist, not a public restroom reading of The Hot Zone, not even eating one last wafer thin mint in a re-enactment of Monty Python’s Meaning of Life – could have prepared us for…Gilly’s first trimester.

Gilly sums up her first trimester experience in her last post, so I won’t regurgitate the horrors she endured. Let me just say this. There. Is. No. Celery. In. Our. House.

But there are two glowing people. After all, maternal bloom isn’t just for ladies…


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Dear Future Baby:

I had supposed that you were just waiting for evidence that we have the ability to cook a few good meals (and apple pie) before you joined us. I totally get it. Nothing like inviting yourself to someone’s home and finding out they have no food in the house! Well, we’ve got that down now. And we requested Williams-Sonoma gifts for Christmas so we will be fab cooking fools in 2012!

Maybe you just don’t like clutter, future baby? No need to explain! I totally get that. Who would want to come into a junked up home? I can’t even watch Hoarders without breaking out into hives. When I met your dad his apartment was spotless, neat, and organized. He fooled me, baby! Your dad is a secret hoarder. I thought things had changed after four moves together. We have gotten rid of a lot of stuff! I was living in blissful ignorance until I took over laundry duty this summer, ventured to the basement, and saw this:

Hell no! Fool done lost his mind!

In all honestly, this mess is mostly (MY) water damaged books and binders and (OUR) boxes we meant to go through after the washing machine flooded the basement. Anyway, we made a pact to clean it up and reorganize this summer, but suddenly it was November, so we set a date: 11/11/11. No, not because it was an auspicious day; your dad had the day off.

Why does your dad hate me?

We went through the boxes with water damage. Not much was salvageable and none of it was the crap extraneous items I was hoping your dad would get rid of… Dang it!

Almost there!

We separated trash from things we could donate. I took pictures while your dad carried huge bags and boxes of trash and donations upstairs. He’s a good guy, your dad!


We are so relieved. Among the things we donated: 2 his and her green bicycles, 4 tote bags (your mama had a tote bag problem), 3 lamps, 3 coats, 1 blanket, 4 framed artworks, 2 mirrors and much, much more. What did your dad donate you ask? Nothing. He claims 2 of the lamps were “his.”  But he kept an old extra computer monitor and TWO extra keyboards (“just in case”).

At least it is all organized now! We are ready to add some crib boxes to our box and bin collection downstairs. Just let us know when you’re ready! We’ll keep the basement nice and neat while we wait.

Love you so much already!

Your mama, Gilly

PS. Feel free to make all kinds of messes–food on the floor, crayon mural on the wall, snotty sleeves–mama can handle it. Just, please, don’t “collect” things you are no longer using.

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I know, I know, I made a big stink about not thinking or writing about baby-related stuff this month. But, whoa boy! My TTC-centric Twitter feed had this nugget of well-written genius and I just had to share it with you. I knew no good would come of reading this article… I’ve been down this road before, but I couldn’t resist. Could you with a title like this?

5 Things You Must Do, If You Do Not Mind Whether Your Next Baby Is A Baby Boy Or A Baby Girl

Hee hee hee hee! Are you giggling like a high chipmunk at Cirque du Soleil? Me too!

Now, I could share the sensible and well-written tips divulged in this article like:

the mother-to-be should not care about what she eats. If she eats what she likes, the chances are that either of the sexes will come.

Nothing is sacrosanct here. It is not exact science but if you do these things you can have either of the sexes. It has however been seen with 94% accuracy that if you do some things in certain ways you will have a baby of choice. (Um… O…K…)

I could go on. Instead, I will share a few articles I’m brainstorming along the same vein. Seriously, these are 5 Articles you MUST read, if you do not mind whether you are reading crap or genius. (It will be crap.)

8 Accessories You Must Buy, If You Do Not Mind Whether You Are Wearing Accessories or Not

17 People You Must Invite To Your Next Dinner Party, If You Do Not Mind Whether Your Guests are Superbly Interesting or Boring A-holes

4 Banks You Must Rob, If You Do Not Mind Whether Your Next Location Has Cutting Edge Security Or One Lame Guard

11 Beaches You Must Go To, If You Do Not Mind Whether The Beaches Are Clean and Gorgeous or Nuclear Plant Run-Off Zones

1 Trying To Conceive Blog You Must Read, If You Do Not Mind Whether You Are Reading About Trying To Conceive Or Autumnal Adventures (Or Random Rants)

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There are many reasons I am scared today:

1. We aren’t pregnant yet. Can’t help but wonder if it just won’t happen for us. I am adopted so that is a natural option for us. I was lucky enough to grow up in a melting pot of a family–family reunions look like a UN conference or an ad for the United Colors of Benetton. But as selfish as it is to say, I think it would be *really* neat to have a family member who physically resembles me.

2. I promised Patrick that we would watch horror movies today. I didn’t make it through the first 2 minutes of The Ring. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the original, aka Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory) is my version of a horror film. OK, I should admit that any movie with Gene Wilder in it is a horror film to me. But a promise is a promise…

Halloween decorations are just plain scary!

3. We are taking a break from TTC.  Not a fake break wherein we still try to get pregnant but call it “a break” to take pressure off. We’re seriously putting baby-making on the shelf this month. I mentioned before I have put a lot of things on hold in my pursuit of pregnancy. And now it is time to put pregnancy back on hold to pursue new things. I am taking a year off from grad school and I had plans in addition to just getting pregnant. I want to seriously pursue those non-academic goals. This new direction is as frightening as is it is exciting, and I want to give it my all.

4. We are taking a baby-themed blog break. In order to become less obsessive about having a baby, it probably makes sense to take a step back from blogging about pregnancy and babies. What will we write about? Well, we’ll think of something. Maybe you, dear readers, should be scared about this one… Muahahahahahhhh!

5. We are decorating for Halloween today. Sadly, this is the one thing I’m most afraid of today. I have a deep and intense fear of “stuff.” I do not like stuff. I like clean open spaces. I like things in a room to serve a purpose. I do not even like storage (where this stuff will end up at the end of the month). Decor is great–brighten a room, add warmth, build dimension–all good things. But extra holiday-themed stuff gives me the wiggins. Kitschy and cluttered freaks me out! So, I will be enjoying some pumpkin ale this evening while we decorate to take the edge off. Wish me luck people! Seriously, I’m totally freaked out.

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Lulu chills with her scary peeps.

I love horror movies. I have for as long as I can remember – ever since I was a kid watching Chilly Billy Cardille’s Chiller Theater on late night TV. I especially love the old black and white Universal ones – Frankenstein, Dracula, The Wolf Man – but there are plenty of newer ones that I love too, from The Exorcist to The Ring. (But don’t get me started on splatter or torture movies. They show an alarming lack of imagination.)

This is all a long preamble in order to say that I don’t scare easily. Things that go bump in the night? No big deal. Thrills and chills? Bring them on. But here’s my confession: Babies terrify me. They terrify the sweet bejesus out of me.

I think it’s the fragility. I’m afraid to pick one up, worried that in one brief moment of clumsiness, I might break the baby. (Have I mentioned that I’m a worrier?)

This fear of the wee-est of wee ones was raised to Full Red Alert when I watched Nursery No-No’s featuring friend of the blog and American Baby Magazine’s Senior Lifestyle Editor, Jessica Hartshorn.

I trust Jessica. She knows her stuff. And apparently, on top of all the other stuff I was already worried about, I now have to add these to the list: blankets, pillows, baby monitors, and cribs.

So you’ll forgive me when I say that the most terrifying creatures on the planet are the little peanuts. And my future peanut will be the scariest of them all.

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A friend of the blog and soon-to-be eccentric Swiss baroness recently said to me: “I was a much better mother before I had children.”

This made me think, because I am a really, really awesome dad now that I don’t have children. I’m a playful, loving, fun, and wise father for these future offspring. But is that because I don’t, well, actually have them yet?

Granted, I do actually have 7 nieces and nephews, and I am an awesome *actual* uncle to them. But it’s a lot different being an uncle than a father. (For one thing, there are no givebacks.) They all turned out great, but I may have to acknowledge that their actual parents had something to do with that.

But what will I be like when I’m tired, or trying to juggle home, work, and parenting responsibilities? Sometimes I worry – okay, worry is my natural state of existence, so most of the time I worry – that I will struggle to find the balance. And I do wonder if my friend is right, and it will all be uphill from here.

So, let me ask you, readers of the blog, what are your secrets? How does one find the energy, the patience, and the perseverance to be a good parent – actual or imagined?

Will I wield a Jello Pudding Pop or Red Light Saber?

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Me and mum at the finish line!

Last January, I decided I wanted to start the year off in a new way. I participated in a local Run and Plunge. It was a 5-mile run that ended in the chilly choppy waters of the Long Island Sound. It was headed by a group of serious marathoners. I wanted to start the New Year by pushing myself to the limit–trying to keep up and plunge in!

I was visiting my parents in Connecticut solo. So January 1, 2011, I screwed up my courage and showed up at the start line knowing no one and not quite sure if I could keep up and take the plunge at the finish line. Long story short, the “run” was practically a walk because this group of 100 did not want to leave anyone behind. Most of the runners there were seasoned marathoners who just came for the fun and left the competition at home (or wherever they keep it). The run wasn’t just about the icy finish; it was about enjoying the views and chatting with your neighbor. It was slow, social, and silly. People were wearing tutus and costumes. Bottles of various types of alcoholic beverages were being passed around. It wasn’t what I expected, but it was the perfect way to bring in the New Year. Plus, it was unseasonably mild that day, which helped tremendously!

So far my experience with TTC has been just like that New Year’s run. I braced myself for a sprint to the finish line, only to find that this is not that kind of race. I wrote an initial post about my expectation to get pregnant right away, and it is safe to say I have not experienced immediate results. I intentionally took activities off the table, like training for a half-marathon in Boston with Patrick and a friend. However, as we continue on, I am feeling more Zen and less rushed about the process. There is nothing I can do to control this, so I am no longer trying. Admittedly, I won’t be training for a half-marthon any time soon, but I am excited to get back on the treadmill for some good 10Ks and continued degradation of my knees. I still won’t touch a drink during the second half of my cycle and will be taking my vitamins, but those days of abbreviations (BBT, OPK, POAS) are a thing of the past. For now, I am taking in the views and a few swigs of cheap wine and enjoying the run. The finish line will still be shocking. The amount of time it takes to get there doesn’t change that.

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