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Posts Tagged ‘The Exorcist’

I hadn’t even realized we’d reached the peeing on a stick phase of the month. As Gilly mentioned in her recent post, she just wanted to make sure it’d be safe to have mimosas on Christmas morning. Neither one of us really expected the test to come back positive. So imagine my surprise when Gilly suddenly announced, late in the evening as we were getting ready for bed, “I think we’re pregnant.”

Yup! I've contracted new dad face.

It took time to realize what I was feeling was sheer joy and excitement, because my initial reaction was one of pure shock. Could it be? How could it be? Could it really be? It couldn’t possibly be. But there it was. The little pink lines. They couldn’t lie. Could they lie? Well, actually, I guess they do lie. But then when Gilly took the test again…and again…and again, for four days in a row – well, the little pink lines don’t lie that much.

We were going to be parents. We couldn’t contain our joy. But while we didn’t have to contain our joy, we couldn’t yet share our joy. The urge to tell everyone the second you realize you’re pregnant – especially after months now of being, as Angie Z. so eloquently put it, “two endangered snow monkeys with a thousand buggy-eyed freaks awaiting the appearance of your first offspring born in captivity” – is hard to suppress. I mean, this is BIG news. Who can keep something like that a secret for a day, let alone for weeks?

And that, dear readers, is when the first trimester intervened and knocked us both senseless. I mean, we’ve read What to Expect When You’re Expecting but nothing – not a midnight screening of The Exorcist, not a public restroom reading of The Hot Zone, not even eating one last wafer thin mint in a re-enactment of Monty Python’s Meaning of Life – could have prepared us for…Gilly’s first trimester.

Gilly sums up her first trimester experience in her last post, so I won’t regurgitate the horrors she endured. Let me just say this. There. Is. No. Celery. In. Our. House.

But there are two glowing people. After all, maternal bloom isn’t just for ladies…

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Scariest Home Movies

If you’re like me, you take your scary movies seriously. Every Halloween season, I try to watch as many of my favorites as I can. If, however, you’re like Gilly, then you just don’t have the time nor the temperament for these shenanigans.

Recently, a friend of the blog steered me to this list of the Top 50 Scariest Movies of All Time. It’s a pretty good list; there are even a few on there that I haven’t seen. But rather than make Gilly watch all these movies, I’m going to summarize them for her – and your – benefit.

Here are capsule reviews of their top 10 Scariest Movies of All Time:

10. Carrie – I went to school with this girl. Seriously. Except for the part where she kills everyone at prom, we all thought she was a pretty sweet girl.

9. The Exorcist – At first I thought it was an exercise video, and man, was I disappointed. Until it got to that part with the neck-spinning and ceiling-walking, and then I realized it was a yoga video. Gilly likes yoga. Maybe I should ask her to watch this after all.

8. The Shining – It’s a great movie, but it feels a little bit dated now that everyone has switched over to compact fluorescent lamp light bulbs.

7. Nosferatu – Possibly the coolest movie ever made during the height of German expressionism. It’s not to be confused with Madonna’s “expressyourselfism.”

6. Repulsion – I haven’t seen this one, but I’m pretty sure it’s the story of my teenage love life.

5. Night of the Living Dead – George Romero became famous for this documentary about the Republican primaries.

4. Bride of Frankenstein – Aka, the movie with the most awesome hairdo ever. Do you think I can convince Gilly to adopt this look?

3. Halloween – In which Linus waits for the Great Pumpkin to arrive. He shows up with a giant knife, ending in a bad day for the Peanuts gang.

2. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre – I’m pretty sure this is a fantasy film made by democrats about the Republican primaries.

1. Psycho – An entire generation quit taking showers after this movie came out. We have Hitchcock to blame/thank (depending on your perspective) for Woodstock.

So that’s their list. Still, there’s a truly scary movie that somehow – unfathomably – missed the list. White Chicks was nowhere to be found.

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