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Posts Tagged ‘Skyrim’

Now that the holidays have come to an end, and we’ve all settled into another New Year, I would like to share some lessons I’ve learned from the holidays. Remember these words of wisdom next year (if there is one), and you’ll be sure to thank me later:

Do get a real Christmas tree, needles be damned.
Don’t
forget to measure the height of your living room.

Do fill your spouse’s Christmas stocking.
Don’t fill it with so much chocolate you both gain ten pounds just from looking at it.

If you are going to have a don't-dress-the-dog rule, what do you think we're going to do when you leave the room?

Do dress the in-laws’ dog in a warm knit hat, silly antlers, or other festive attire.
Don’t tell your in-laws that you’ve done this.

Do enjoy a glass of wine.
Don’t lose track of the number of times your spouse says, “Go ahead, have another.”

Do enjoy a relaxing afternoon playing Skyrim.
Don’t tell your spouse you want to name your future child Dovahkiin.

Do order takeout for your New Year’s Eve meal.
Don’t be surprised when it takes an hour and a half to arrive.

Do enjoy a rockin’ New Year’s Eve.
Don’t watch a Rockin’ New Year’s Eve (unless you are a teenage girl).

Do text your teenage nephew to wish him a Happy New Year.
Don’t be surprised when he replies, “Who is this?”

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When I was a young boy, I always dreamed of being a Viking. I preferred Thor and Norse mythology, with its tough no-nonsense gods, to the namby-pamby gods of Rome and Greece.

Self-portrait, Age 4

When I grew older, I became an avid reader of the Conan series by Robert E. Howard. Conan was a tough, no-nonsense barbarian who embodied that Viking spirit. Just like me.

Even today, when I play video games, I create characters that embody the rugged-man-of-action-and-fewer-words ethos.

It's almost as if I'm looking into a mirror...

So, I’m proud to say, now that I’m a little over two weeks into my No Shave November pact with Gilly, that at last I have achieved my lifelong desire:

We call this look “The Viking.”

Stay tuned for next week’s update.

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"Wait, you want me to do what now?"

As Gilly revealed in her most recent post, we are mega-nerds. And we mega-nerds have a new obsession: the video game Skyrim.

Like virtual-world crack addicts, we just can’t stop playing the game, thinking about the game, and oh yes, dreaming about the game. How awesome is Skyrim? Let me count the ways:

1- Gilly and I have been alternating turns with the game, but we’ve had two entirely different game experiences. She’s traveled to parts of this enormous virtual fantasy world that I haven’t come close to stumbling upon, and vice versa. She plays stylish and sneaky, avoiding combat whenever necessary; I, on the other hand, barrel headlong into the middle of the action looking for a fight. Interestingly enough, each of our characters is the opposite of our natural dispositions.

2- Werewolves. As in, I became one.

3- There’s a raving lunatic on a town street corner who sounds EXACTLY like an extra from the Roman market square in Monty Python’s Life of Brian.

4- Kettles. An essential part of a thief’s repertoire. (This one is for you, Gilly.)

Yes, the giants have pet mammoths.

5- When a giant hits you with its club, you get launched into orbit hundreds of feet into the air. We empathize, golf balls, we empathize.

6- The soundtrack. Hoo!

7- On the way home from work, Gilly called me to say, “I’ve got an arrow. In my EYE!”

8- You can have a pet dog. That’s cool. Just don’t lose it. (Or else you will be very sad.)

9- I got lost in a snowstorm. It was just like Halloweenter all over again.

10- Did I mention there were dragons? Enormous, flying, earth-shaking, flame-breathing, nightmare-inducing dragons?

If this is our last video-gaming hurrah before parenthood, I say thank you, Bethesda, for helping to make the fantasy world I imagined as a fourteen-year-old, Dungeons & Dragons-playing nerd boy come true – the one, that is, in which I am married to a beautiful girl who loves video games. (Plus, thanks for making Skyrim – it’s pretty awesome too.)

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It is Day 15 of  NaNoWriMo. For those of you just tuning in, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. The purpose is to motivate thousands of fools to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. We are at the halfway point! By we, I mean all of the really fast writers out there who are not me. My word count is totally right on track if it were Day 9 of this event.

My Miserable Stats

Total Words Written: 15,830

Words Remaining: 34,170 (is that all?)

Days Remaining: 16

Words Per Day To Finish On Time: 2,135

8 Ball’s Prediction Of Whether I Will Reach Goal on Time: Not looking good.

Oh! Did I mention that we got a video game called Skyrim this weekend? It is a never ending nerd game of dragons, bandits, and quests. So many quests! Did I mention I turn into a 16-year-old boy when I play these games? My wood elf has been picking locks, trading goods, and honing her archery skills all weekend. Meaning, writing is no longer happening and I have just revealed to my blog friends that I am a mega-nerd.

Chance of Reaching Goal With Skyrim In House: Not going to happen, Dragonborn*!

In sum, I would have had a better chance growing a beard for No Shave November. But I haven’t given up on NaNoWriMo yet. A wood elf never quits!

Me with a beard (and fancy mustache)!

*Since you were wondering: The Dragonborn have an innate ability to soak up the powers of dragons upon slaying them.

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