Next up in inane baby news, Ford is designing cars for pregnant ladies! That’s right, engineers are strapping on the empathy belly to design cars – well, seat belts anyway – that are more comfortable for women driving for two!
While you are tinkering in there, Ford engineers, I have a few more suggestions based on thorough (Internet) pregnancy research:
- Waterproof seating. For laugh-related leaks, sneezes, and water-breakage.
- Back support with heat options. For soothing pregnancy-related aching backs.
- Across body seat belt foam padding. To my knowledge, empathy bellies do not simulate tender, swollen breasts. If they did, you would adjust seat belts accordingly, I am sure.
- Recording device to grab hold of fleeting thoughts and to-dos. This is for the pregnant woman who is struggling with “pregnancy brain” and needs a reminder. With the push of a button on the steering wheel, a mother-to-be could record reminders that automatically sync to her smartphone.
- Snack holder. The pregnant woman is encouraged to graze throughout the day. So, while cup holders are still necessary (see item #1), snack holders would be a welcome enhancement for the pregger on the go.
- Voice-activated GPS with pregnancy programming: nearest restrooms indicating level of cleanliness; nearby restaurants/convenience stores with healthy snack options; hospital; yoga classes. GPS, find the nearest clean restroom please!
- Barf bag. Airplanes are kind enough to include this in the front-seat pocket, so why not cars? Oral waste bags could be made available in the driver side door pocket for easy access.
- Hands-free cell phone calling with mommy-friends’ numbers pre-programmed. For emergency worries and support from the women who know best – or at least have been there before. Ford, Call Liz, I’m worried about having to mold my baby’s head when it’s out.
- Really large foot pedals. This would be ideal for pregnant women who experience foot-swellage in their third trimesters. Also, while you are working on the pedals, why not add foot massagers down there too?
- A birthing kit under the driver seat. This is for those as-seen-on-TV moments when you cannot make it to the hospital in time. An emergency birthing kit would also be handy for a woman who finds herself in one of those “I didn’t know I was pregnant” situations. Options could be made available based on your birthing plan: Inflatable kiddy pool for water birth; guided imagery CDs for Hypnobirthing, relaxation candles, and more!
So Ford, please consider my amazing suggestions (although I am not yet pregnant and do not know what I am talking about). You are welcome.