Driving For Two

Next up in inane baby news, Ford is designing cars for pregnant ladies! That’s right, engineers are strapping on the empathy belly to design cars – well, seat belts anyway – that are more comfortable for women driving for two!

Seatbelt Safety, Lulu!

While you are tinkering in there, Ford engineers, I have a few more suggestions based on thorough (Internet) pregnancy research:

1. Waterproof seating. For laugh-related leaks, sneezes, and water-breakage.
2. Back support with heat options. For soothing pregnancy-related aching backs.
3. Across body seat belt foam padding. To my knowledge, empathy bellies do not simulate tender, swollen breasts. If they did, you would adjust seat belts accordingly, I am sure.
4. Recording device to grab hold of fleeting thoughts and to-dos. This is for the pregnant woman who is struggling with “pregnancy brain” and needs a reminder. With the push of a button on the steering wheel, a mother-to-be could record reminders that automatically sync to her smartphone.
5. Snack holder. The pregnant woman is encouraged to graze throughout the day. So, while cup holders are still necessary (see item #1), snack holders would be a welcome enhancement for the pregger on the go.
6. Voice-activated GPS with pregnancy programming: nearest restrooms indicating level of cleanliness; nearby restaurants/convenience stores with healthy snack options; hospital; yoga classes. GPS, find the nearest clean restroom please!
7. Barf bag. Airplanes are kind enough to include this in the front-seat pocket, so why not cars? Oral waste bags could be made available in the driver side door pocket for easy access.
8. Hands-free cell phone calling with mommy-friends’ numbers pre-programmed. For emergency worries and support from the women who know best – or at least have been there before. Ford, Call Liz, I’m worried about having to mold my baby’s head when it’s out.
9. Really large foot pedals. This would be ideal for pregnant women who experience foot-swellage in their third trimesters. Also, while you are working on the pedals, why not add foot massagers down there too?
10. A birthing kit under the driver seat. This is for those as-seen-on-TV moments when you cannot make it to the hospital in time. An emergency birthing  kit would also be handy for a woman who finds herself in one of those “I didn’t know I was pregnant” situations. Options could be made available based on your birthing plan: Inflatable kiddy pool for water birth; guided imagery CDs for Hypnobirthing, relaxation candles, and more!

So Ford, please consider my amazing suggestions (although I am not yet pregnant and do not know what I am talking about). You are welcome.

Read Full Post »

Are We There Yet?

Unlike my measured, patient husband, once I know what I want, I want it right away. To me, delayed gratification has a 5 minute limit. After that, it is just torture! So when we do decide to “go the way of the stork” I will be expecting immediate results. My expectations are not a product of misinformation or lack of information, but blind-desire. I have read a few books and I have heard stories of women struggling to get pregnant–my mother tried for 7 years before adopting me. But, I’m guessing, like many women before me, I am thinking: That won’t be me.

I went to the doc for a check-up right away. The doctor told me, when we do start, to return in 6 months if we aren’t pregnant. Here’s what I heard: Pregnancy will happen immediately! When I told a friend about my “plan” she said something to the effect of, “You know, it’s not going to happen right away just because you want it badly.” Here’s what I heard: It is going to happen right away for you since you want it badly.

However, while I can’t wait to see a plus sign, I am enjoying the journey too. I’ve been reading books like “What to Expect Before You’re Expecting.” I’ve also been watching TLC’s “A Baby Story” and have been known to get a little too caught up in “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.” (My family has banned me from watching the show.) In this particular program, women claiming to have had no skipped periods, no morning sickness, no baby bump, no symptoms at all, were rushed to the hospital with stomach cramps to find they were in labor. Here’s what I thought while watching: I don’t have any of those symptoms either! I could be pregnant too!

So here I am, learning to enjoy the journey… And come to think of it, on the advice of a great friend, I have not yet purchased any pregnancy/expecting books. So I guess I am capable of delayed gratification after all! I can’t wait to read all about it, but I envision rushing to the bookstore with my husband following a positive test. I can’t wait, but I imagine it will be so worth it!

Read Full Post »