Posts Tagged ‘end of days’

Everyone knows that the world is going to end on December 21, 2012. Oh, you didn’t know? Here’s the evidence:

Not a Mayan (image from Wikipedia)

1. Wikipedia has an entry about this “phenomenon.” They are playing it safe by calling it a “phenomenon” and not a “certainty” so they don’t look dumb come December 22, 2012 — my mum’s birthday. Actually, if anything can reverse the End of Days, it is my mum’s birthday.

2. Mayan calendar ends December 21, 2012 and so shall ours. Or did they just run out of room on their rock calendar? Unrelated side note: Has anyone seen Ancient Aliens? According to a segment I watched, the Mayans were visited by (and did *it* with) aliens. Related note: Aliens know the future.

3. Nostradamus said so too.  I have no asides about Nostradamus. Actually, I do. Wait for it… BEARD! Also, he may have been born on December 21 (or December 14, records weren’t so exact in 1503), which is very nearly spooky.

Given this thoroughly convincing evidence, I’d say we’ve got a little over a year to live it up. Time to re-prioritize and carpe the diem, as they say!

My End of Days Goals are as follows:

Q: What's up? A: Chicken butt

1. Finish writing two quality children’s lit books. I will not, in all likelihood, be among the survivors of an apocalypse or Judgment Day-type scenario. But survivors will crawl out from underground after 200 years, find one of my manuscripts, mistake it for non-fiction, become nomads, and build their lives around it. That will be rad.

2. Get pregnant. I will name my child Apocalypse! Calypso(a) for short. Done. Nurse, please hand me the birth certificate when Patrick isn’t looking, thanks.

3. Continue to teach myself to cook. I can at least prepare a feast on December 21, 2012 in honor of the End of Days (and to celebrate my mum, just in case)! Any suggestions for the menu?

Well, my goals are the same. End of Days or not, a woman wants what she wants. Anyone rethinking life and assigning new End Of Days Goals?


Read Full Post »

If the Steelers had cheerleaders and Lulu liked to smile, she'd only wave pom-poms for the Steelers!

One of the things I was thinking this evening while watching the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Philadelphia Eagles in preseason football (well, besides thinking that the state of Pennsylvania has one team that looks ready for the Super Bowl and one team that doesn’t) was this: Are my football-watching days numbered?

I know that every prospective parent-to-be in the history of ever is concerned with the loss of leisure time that comes with being responsible for a little crib-critter. It goes with the territory. But still, there must be a way that one learns to balance one’s responsibilities with one’s desire to function as a human in the world. How does someone manage to be both a parent and someone who wants to watch football, to read a book, or to know enough about pop culture to know that the ending of Lost sucked and the ending of Harry Potter was pitch-perfect?

I know my priorities will shift as a parent – and who knows, I might simply not even have the time to remember what my former priorities used to be – but I imagine that to remain relatively sane one must find some time in the day to do the things he or she loves to do.

So tell me, parents, where do you find the time for yourselves? What are your means of escape? Is it all in the scheduling? In finding some untapped reservoir of energy after the little knee-high private eyes go to bed at night? Or is it all in trading favors with one’s spouse? Or bribing your parents and siblings?

Maybe I should just resolve myself to the understanding that somewhere around the year 2030, if I’m lucky, future Patrick will be waiting, older but wiser and ready to resume life as he once knew it. That is, unless the Mayans have it right and we can all just cash it in in 2012.

Read Full Post »