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Posts Tagged ‘Cole Porter’

Inspired by Parents.com’s recent post “10 Common Baby-making Mistakes” (which offered the sage advice of “Not Having Enough Sex” immediately followed by “Having Too Much Sex”, which leads me to believe that Goldilocks wrote the column), I’m posting my “Top Baby-Making Mistakes.” TTC couples, you’ll thank me later.

7. Kept waiting for the stork to deliver.

6. Heard the lyrics “The birds do it, the bees do it” but missed the critical next step, “even educated fleas do it.”

5. Mistook the NASDAQ stock index for the ovulation chart and bought when you should have been selling.

4. Kept trying the rhythm method, because it seemed to work so well for the girls on MTV’s Teen Mom.

3. (Men only) Thought you could carry the sympathy pregnancy to full term.

2. Confused Juno, the hipster pregnant teen from the movies, with Juno, the Roman goddess of fertility.

And the number 1 all-time baby-making mistake is…

1. Assumed the missionary position also required a vow of celibacy.

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