Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘apocalypse’

Everyone knows that the world is going to end on December 21, 2012. Oh, you didn’t know? Here’s the evidence:

Not a Mayan (image from Wikipedia)

1. Wikipedia has an entry about this “phenomenon.” They are playing it safe by calling it a “phenomenon” and not a “certainty” so they don’t look dumb come December 22, 2012 — my mum’s birthday. Actually, if anything can reverse the End of Days, it is my mum’s birthday.

2. Mayan calendar ends December 21, 2012 and so shall ours. Or did they just run out of room on their rock calendar? Unrelated side note: Has anyone seen Ancient Aliens? According to a segment I watched, the Mayans were visited by (and did *it* with) aliens. Related note: Aliens know the future.

3. Nostradamus said so too.  I have no asides about Nostradamus. Actually, I do. Wait for it… BEARD! Also, he may have been born on December 21 (or December 14, records weren’t so exact in 1503), which is very nearly spooky.

Given this thoroughly convincing evidence, I’d say we’ve got a little over a year to live it up. Time to re-prioritize and carpe the diem, as they say!

My End of Days Goals are as follows:

Q: What's up? A: Chicken butt

1. Finish writing two quality children’s lit books. I will not, in all likelihood, be among the survivors of an apocalypse or Judgment Day-type scenario. But survivors will crawl out from underground after 200 years, find one of my manuscripts, mistake it for non-fiction, become nomads, and build their lives around it. That will be rad.

2. Get pregnant. I will name my child Apocalypse! Calypso(a) for short. Done. Nurse, please hand me the birth certificate when Patrick isn’t looking, thanks.

3. Continue to teach myself to cook. I can at least prepare a feast on December 21, 2012 in honor of the End of Days (and to celebrate my mum, just in case)! Any suggestions for the menu?

Well, my goals are the same. End of Days or not, a woman wants what she wants. Anyone rethinking life and assigning new End Of Days Goals?

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

Patrick has a killer-busy week at work, so he asked me to guest post. He does not know it yet, but while he gets ready for work he will also be helping me write today’s blog.

While our power was out in our town and surrounding areas, it felt a bit like we were living in a post-apocalyptic world. Thanks to movies like 28 Days Later, I knew that in addition to finding coffee and waiting for over an hour to gas up our car, I needed to keep my eyes peeled for any zombie-like behavior… We wanted a head-start, just in case.

Coffee deprived, as there were only two shops open with coffee available and multiple towns flocking to them, we all had a bit in common with AMC’s The Walking Dead-type Zombies — slow moving, sensitive to sound, but otherwise pretty dimwitted. These types of zombies I can handle. Not cute to look at, but at least I know I can outrun them.

M'am, your eyes... You may want to see an optometrist or a specialist...

I was on the lookout for any unusually fast-moving humans. When power is out and it is cold and icy, and the masses are coffee-deprived, any quick motion is easy to detect and out of place. Specifically, I was looking for those sprinting zombies a la Dawn of the Dead. Not only is this zombie-type ugly but it can also outrun me. Not cool!

Ruuuuuuunnnnnn!!!

You may be thinking: A snowstorm knocked the power out, why were you so obsessed with zombies? First, it was Halloween weekend. Obviously, I’d have zombies on the brain. Second, I live near 5 colleges. You mean to tell me that not one of them has a crate full of Rage-virus monkeys just waiting to infect people, just like in 28 Day Later?

Rage looks sad on this chimp (Wikipedia Image)

But I guess if any testing on primates is being done, zombies will be the least of my worries…

Revolting Apes!

My fear is James Franco playing anything other than a stoner, of course. Not apes rising! Apes are still cute as they chase us down. Also this…

Apes In Spacesuits!

Read Full Post »