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Posts Tagged ‘2012’

According to the Chinese calendar at the local pan-Asian restaurant, 2012 is The Year of The Dragon. Patrick and I took this as an omen that 2012 is going to bring some fire-breathing, scaly-winged, wonderful-ness!

According to a commercial I recently saw, January 1st is also the time to champagne toast another beast–the Sasquatch, or Squatch, as we believers say (I’m not really a believer).

“I do think there’s a Squatch in these woods!” <tink!>I’ll toast to that!

Whether you are just happy 2011 is over, celebrating the start of Squatch hunting on Animal Planet, or as excited about the year of the dragon as we are, we wish everyone a fantastic New Year!

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Everyone knows that the world is going to end on December 21, 2012. Oh, you didn’t know? Here’s the evidence:

Not a Mayan (image from Wikipedia)

1. Wikipedia has an entry about this “phenomenon.” They are playing it safe by calling it a “phenomenon” and not a “certainty” so they don’t look dumb come December 22, 2012 — my mum’s birthday. Actually, if anything can reverse the End of Days, it is my mum’s birthday.

2. Mayan calendar ends December 21, 2012 and so shall ours. Or did they just run out of room on their rock calendar? Unrelated side note: Has anyone seen Ancient Aliens? According to a segment I watched, the Mayans were visited by (and did *it* with) aliens. Related note: Aliens know the future.

3. Nostradamus said so too.  I have no asides about Nostradamus. Actually, I do. Wait for it… BEARD! Also, he may have been born on December 21 (or December 14, records weren’t so exact in 1503), which is very nearly spooky.

Given this thoroughly convincing evidence, I’d say we’ve got a little over a year to live it up. Time to re-prioritize and carpe the diem, as they say!

My End of Days Goals are as follows:

Q: What's up? A: Chicken butt

1. Finish writing two quality children’s lit books. I will not, in all likelihood, be among the survivors of an apocalypse or Judgment Day-type scenario. But survivors will crawl out from underground after 200 years, find one of my manuscripts, mistake it for non-fiction, become nomads, and build their lives around it. That will be rad.

2. Get pregnant. I will name my child Apocalypse! Calypso(a) for short. Done. Nurse, please hand me the birth certificate when Patrick isn’t looking, thanks.

3. Continue to teach myself to cook. I can at least prepare a feast on December 21, 2012 in honor of the End of Days (and to celebrate my mum, just in case)! Any suggestions for the menu?

Well, my goals are the same. End of Days or not, a woman wants what she wants. Anyone rethinking life and assigning new End Of Days Goals?

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